Later, Stephen's thoughts turn to Emma (the girl about whom he fantasizes), the "packet of pictures" he hid, and the "foul long letters" which he left in a place where he was certain that some unknown girl would find them and read them.
His guilt increases, making him feel as though every word of the sermon is spoken personally to him. Stephen earnestly considers his pitiful state and the enormity of his offense against the omnipotent personality of God. Father Arnall emphasizes that one should examine one's conscience and repent one's sins while one still has the chance. On the first day of the retreat, Stephen sits on the front bench of the chapel as Father Arnall begins his sermon on the "last things" that happen to people - "death, judgment, hell and heaven." The gravity of this Judgment Day sermon, taken from Ecclesiasticus 7:36, penetrates Stephen's heart, making him vividly imagine the judgment that he would receive for the sin of lust - if he were to die suddenly. The announcement of the retreat "wither up" Stephen's heart. Then, at the very moment when Stephen is convinced that he has a consummately sinful nature, and when he is questioning the spiritual reality of the sacrament of the eucharist, he hears the rector announce the beginning of a three-day spiritual retreat which will be held at Belvedere in honor of the school's patron saint, Francis Xavier. Stephen also continues his catechism classes, but now he begins to contemplate the technicalities of religious doctrine that pertain to his "violent sin." He analyzes the origin and the result of his present sinful status, and he realizes that his sin of lust has rapidly spread into the other "deadly sin" categories - anger, covetousness, pride, envy, gluttony, and sloth. The statue of the Virgin, the symbol of the "refuge of sinners," does not humiliate Stephen he finds pity and comfort in the words of the litanies that he says in her honor. Stephen feels contaminated by every kind of sin, but he continues to serve as the prefect of the Sodality of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Although he knows that he is in danger of "eternal damnation," a "cold indifference" has seized him and prevents repentance and reparation. He feels that "a wave of vitality out of him," taking with it his resistance to temptation. Often Stephen feels slothful - lethargic, apathetic, and unable to pray.
His studies suddenly become either wholly unimportant - or else they take on new, shaming importance for example, while completing a mathematical equation, Stephen is reminded that his sinful nature is increasingly multiplying. In the days following Stephen's first sexual experience (Joyce refers to it as Stephen's "first violent sin"), he discovers that he craves food his sexual appetite has seemingly whetted his appetite for meat and carrots and potatoes.
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